Q. Arthur and Roger are very good friends. Roger has just bought a red XR2 and thinks spoilers are cool. Arthur veers towards rear window stickers and bass bins. They have a print job sent from their 95 client that reports as spooling however their network administrator informs them that their print job is stalling the Q and cannot be deleted. What should Roger and Arthur suggest to their Helpdesk?

A: Buy a subscription to Max Power and chill

B: Report 2 fag povs and suggest they are publicly castrated

C: Suggest that their network administrator stop the server spooler service and restart it

D: Arthur should scratch Roger's eyes out and retire to the nearest public toilet

Q: There are fat burds in the office. They wear skin tight clothing that grosses out even the poorly sighted and bad tasted. One of these fat burds has a mandatory profile configured. Desktops are NT 4.0 workstations and the location of this fat burd's profile is unavailable. What will happen when chubby babe attempts to logon? Choose ALL answers that apply

A: She's fat, who cares?

B: Her butt will hang over the edges of her chair

C: She'll moan about something that means fuck all to everyone and you'll wonder if the 'Back To The Future' theory would work and expose her dad to Uranium dust

D: She'll not be allowed to logon. Not only is her profile unavailable, but her butt is big

 Q: There is a problem at work, how do you cope with it? (choose all answers that apply)

A: It was like that when I got here

B: I did what you would do

C: I start with my new company tomorrow, fuck you

D: NT is self optimising, f/a for me to do here

 Q: Janice Anxiety has problems. Janice loves to don high heels and prance through her/his work space like Les Dawson on hormones. If you're a camper, Janice loves you - facial hair and make-up are happening, but reality often prevails on her/his workspace. Jan has a problem though, her pc has forgotten stuff. It used to be 'groovy' and do things. What should Jan do?

A: Call the Helpdesk, they make as much sense as Jan does

B: Break out the emery paper and rid yourself of those unsightly bunions

C: When pc's are switched off they don't really forget, they just miss your company

D: Wear that attractive tweed twin set, the pc'll be cool about the whole thing